How To Be A Better Friend

Cultivating Beauty in Our Relationships

There’s only one thing better than a rock solid female friend who has our backs no matter what… and that’s being that friend.

These days so much of our collective feminine power comes from the relationships we build with other women. There’s nothing more motivating or uplifting than #womensupportingwomen.

Especially after we’ve moved through decades of cultural and societal shifts to get to a place where we can focus on empowering and embracing the women around us instead of being set up to compete against one another. 

That said, not all female friendships and relationships are created equal.

Some are effortless, as instinctual as salt water creeping up a sandy shore, while others might require a little more work – think an arduous hike that has its peaks and valleys.

Regardless of where you stand with your girlfriends, there’s always room to level up and show up as you support your sisters on their paths to brighteousness. (Who doesn’t love a good pun?)

The 10 tips below will help you become more present, positive, and fulfilled in your female friendships.

Pay attention to the items that naturally jump out at you and focus on them first! 

1. Express Genuine Interest

We all benefit from those friendships that offer a safe space to unload our life’s problems: the ones where you can show up messy, emotional, or unsure and still feel completely accepted. Those connections are rare and sacred.

Make sure, though, that your relationship is fair and equitable for both parties. Support should move both ways. If you find yourself doing most of the talking, reflecting, or planning, pause and consider how you can gently rebalance things. Healthy friendships thrive on mutual effort, understanding, and care.

Take time to proactively ask about your friend’s day, celebrate her wins, or invite her out for an activity you know she loves. Sometimes the small things can go a long way: whether it’s a simple text, a coffee date, or remembering a small detail she mentioned weeks ago. It’s the little gestures of care and thoughtfulness that strengthen a bond over time and show that you’re truly present.

When both people feel seen, supported, and appreciated, you create a mutual support system that stands the test of time, and one that holds space for each other’s growth, joy, and humanity.

2. Read Her Body Language

Knowing how to tune into someone’s needs or feelings based on body language is a bit of a gift and a skill. It comes in handy because it allows you to pivot the conversation or action accordingly based on unspoken queues.

Whether a friend is feeling uncomfortable in a certain situation or prickled slightly at the joke you just made, being observant will help you best respond to her needs. 

3. Check In On Her

One of the best parts of female friendship is having someone who genuinely cares about your life. An accountability partner, a cheerleader, and a gentle nudge when you need it most.

Checking in doesn’t have to mean constant texting or hovering. Sending a “thinking of you” message, asking how that big presentation went, or reminding her to take a break when she’s overwhelmed add up. Those check-ins show you’re tuned in and that her world matters to you.

When you take the time to ask about her day, her goals, or what’s been on her heart, she’ll feel seen, supported, and loved in the most meaningful way. 

4. Find Your Rhythm

Every relationship thrives in a different ‘connectivity zone’. Some are all-in and intense while others fare best on a low simmer at a distance. Feel out the energy your friendship needs on an ongoing basis and adjust accordingly.

Valuable friendships aren’t about conforming to a specific mold but instead honoring the dynamic that bring out the best in both of you.

Embrace the fluidity and find that sweet spot where both of your energies and needs align.

5. Support Her Relationships

When we get attached to a particular person it can be difficult to see them thrive in their other friendships. Especially if they don’t include you… and especially if you’re not a big fan of her friend or partner.

Learning to tame jealousy will go a long way in maintaining a lasting friendship.

Remember that support and positivity abundantly flow if we let it; there’s plenty of space for you to encourage her relationships while preserving your unique bond. 

A thoughtful gift for your closest friend — a simple reminder that she’s seen and appreciated every day.

6. Respect Her Time

One of the major markers of a great friendship is mutual respect, and time is one of the biggest ways you can show it. Everyone’s juggling responsibilities, and few things feel worse than realizing your time isn’t being valued.

If you’re working on up-leveling your friend game, start by being mindful of the clock. Running late happens, but consistent tardiness or last-minute cancellations can leave the other person feeling dismissed or unimportant. Especially if you aren’t proactively communicating.

When you make the effort to show up on time, or give her a heads-up if you’re running behind, it demonstrates care and reliability. It says, “You matter to me, and I value the effort you made to be here.”

Unless your friend has made it explicitly clear she doesn’t mind (which is rare), do your best to be prompt and considerate. Respect like this goes a long way in building trust and deepening connection over time.

7. Accept Her For Her

Let her freak flag fly high! The beauty of true friendship lies in full acceptance of one another’s quirks, contradictions, and everything in between.

The best part about finding a soul sister in this wild, unpredictable world is knowing you can be your whole, unfiltered self around her. And she should feel free to do the same with you.

Embrace the unique energy and perspective she brings to your friendship, even when it differs from your own. Celebrate the things that make her her: the goofy jokes, the bold opinions, the unexpected whims or passions. The differences between you are what make your bond richer and more real.

When you love someone for who they are, without judgment, you create space for both of you to show up authentically. She’ll feel it and she’ll mirror that energy back, making you feel equally seen, accepted, and deeply loved in your own skin. 

8. Get Deeper

Being vulnerable and raw is hard, even with those closest to us.

Dare to explore the rich soil under some of your surface-layer relationships by getting vulnerable, sharing your story, and expecting acceptance.

When you push beyond the limits of your current connection you’ll both benefit from an honest, longer-lasting bond. 

My favorite book on adult friendship and emotional connection:

9. Honor Her Trust

It’s not every day we meet someone we feel safe enough to share the unfiltered parts of our lives with. The messy truths, private worries, and tender hopes we don’t show just anyone.

So when a friend opens up and confides in you, recognize it for what it is: a sacred act of trust. She’s letting you into the quieter corners of her world, believing you’ll hold that space with care.

Honor that by keeping her confidence close. Don’t share her stories, even in passing, and don’t push past the boundaries she’s set. The strength of a friendship rests in the invisible agreement that what’s shared in deep conversation will stay protected.

When you protect what she’s shared, you’re nurturing safety, loyalty, and the kind of bond that can weather anything.

10. Have Honest Conversation

Every relationship should contain a channel of accountability that helps identify potential obstacles while encouraging growth.

Navigate through your female friendships prioritizing the same level of communication you normally reserve for an intimate partner.

Openly and mutually express your needs to create a friendship that can withstand turbulence. (Read this post for info on setting healthy boundaries in toxic friendships).

Accept constructive criticism and, likewise, offer guidance if your friend is in need of a little motivation or encouragement. 

The Rewarding Growth Journey

There are endless ways we can continue to improve our relationships and become better BFFs. Taking inventory of your role in your friendships and implementing some of the tips above is a great place to start.

You’ll be more inclined to receive the positivity and effort that you put out into the world.

As you work on yourself you’ll see your relationships flourish and become more rewarding for you, too!

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