Love Intentionally: 6 Simple Steps to A Healthy Relationship

Loving intentionally doesn’t come naturally to most people. Yet healthy relationships require work. They require attention, care, and nurturing, minute by minute, day in and day out.

Some days are much easier than others.

Other days you can feel like you’re trapped in a maze with no map and no idea what’s waiting for you when you make it out.

Most days, though, a healthy relationship should feel like a true working partnership: safe, challenging, sweaty, uncomfortable, vulnerable, and rewarding.

The work you do, more often than not, should pay off.

This blog + workbook set will help you cultivate and care for your relationship.

Ultimately, these steps will connect you more to yourself and your partner so that you can embark on a loving, healthy, and equitable relationship.

When you’re thoughtful, intentional, and actionable you’re able to give your best self to someone else.

These six steps will help you be all of those things; not all at once but in practical, achievable steps.

(PS: If you’re looking for more resources to add to your library, these books are relationship game-changers: The Mastery of Love and How Do I Get Through to You?).

6 Steps to a Healthy Relationship

Before you start reading, download the Love Intentionally: 6 Steps to a Healthy Relationship workbook to accompany this post.

Step #1: Review Your Relationship

Set aside about thirty minutes toward the beginning of each month to thoroughly review the course of your relationship. Think of this as a high-level audit of what’s working, what isn’t, and review without judgment.

Download the workbook to accompany this blog and fill out the PDF directly or use a journal along with it.

If you have to, put this on your calendar; this isn’t something that most people prioritize without a little effort. During this time, look back on the past month’s growth, highs, lows, and every adventure in between.

The purpose of this reflection is to…

• Reconnect with gratitude and appreciation for the journey
• Honor your progress (even if it was a hard month)
• Think more objectively about the lows
• Take pride in the highs
• Love intentionally!

Step #2: Take Inventory Of Your Needs

This might become your favorite part of the process because it’s when you get to take inventory of your needs and your needs only. There’s no room for people-pleasing here.

Sometimes it’s hard to put your needs first, let alone sit down and try to articulately express them or pinpoint which aren’t being met.

It’s often just a feeling that something is missing.

Taking time to really understand those feelings so you can pinpoint exactly what you need more of is so important. Every healthy relationship involves both parties understanding and advocating for their needs.

You’re able to ask for whatever you need to feel fulfilled, and it’s much easier to do when you have an intimate understanding of yourself.

Step #3: Enhance Your Empathy

Society often labels women as naturally empathetic, as if we just have a knack for understanding the needs of others.

Well, if you’re like any other living, breathing woman, you might be able to empathize all day long until you get in a heated disagreement with your partner and suddenly… it’s not so easy.

True empathy requires a lot of energy.

Thinking objectively about your relationship can help you see things from your partner’s perspective and move toward a more healthy mindset.

• Where could you have been more supportive?
• When could you have been less harsh?
• How could you have expressed your love more intentionally?
• What situation left you feeling disappointed in you behavior?

Step #4: Set Meaningful Intentions

Once you have a solid understanding of your needs and how you can better serve you partner, start thinking about your intentions for the next month. Like goals, setting intentions for a healthy relationship works. 

Try to focus on one or two positive changes you’d like to see happen. Then come up with some small actions you can take, whether randomly or in specific situations, to get you moving toward these changes.

Example: I’d like to fight with my partner less. To help us achieve this, I’m going to try to ask my partner for more information in moments when I’d like to just say “no”.

Step #5: Make Time For Your Love

You’re a busy woman.

You have a lot going on!

Long gone are those days when relationships took full stock in your life. However, the importance of connection stays the same no matter how busy your life gets.

If it comes down to scheduling time for dates, dinner at home, or Netflix binges, go all in. Having a consistent time where you and your partner can expect a high-quality shared experience will help create anticipation.

Even taking quick mental stock of how you want your relationship to move through the week is a step forward. This will allow you to express your love intentionally and prevent you from turning into an auto-pilot participant.

A healthy relationship thrives when both people are involved and evolving!

Step #6: Act Out In Abundance

Make “abundance” the keyword of your household in future weeks.

Revert to a favorite mantra, like “abundance flows easily in me.” This will serve as a reminder of your ever-flowing ability to love, nurture, and show compassion. 

The last step is to take your review, your inventory, your empathy, and your intentions and put them all to work. This step, Abundance, is about doing everything from an abundant mindset. There is no limit to the love and faith you can bring to your relationshi.

You’re just gonna work in this realm of serving the greater good of your relationship.

You can spend time, money, energy, creativity… you name it.

Cook a meal. Send an affirmation card. Plan a surprise. Offer a no-strings-attached errand.

You can do anything that affirms, uplifts, or supports your partner.

Your expressions of abundance will evolve and change daily, so set reasonable expectations and don’t feel like you have to justify what you’re doing to anyone else. 

You’ll know it’s working when it feels like you’re on the right track.

Progress Adds Up

By using abundance, which you already have within you, you can make meaningful steps toward achieving the goals you have for a healthy relationship.

Relationships require work. Work requires accountability and a certain degree of expected progress.

These six steps, if practiced routinely, will help you love intentionally and build the relationship you want to have.

There are no tricks – you can actually build the life you want.

Why not start here?